In all honesty, I’ve enjoyed parts of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie from 2014. Those turtle designs aren’t great and in its early trailers, neither was the CGI. But the finished product, guided by producer Michael Bay and director Jonathan Liebesman, was not awful. And for kids, I’m sure it was a lot of fun. I can get past some hastily written plot and some video game cutscene visual effects if it means we get the spirit of the TMNT and a ridiculous action movie. On that promise, the first film delivered.
Today we get the first look at the upcoming sequel, which is due in theaters June 3, 2016. And similar to what we saw in the early trailers for its predecessor, the visual effects are rough. The story looks completely ridiculous (why is there a portal opening in the sky that looks like something from The Flash?).
And boy does it reek of all the worst instincts of the first film. In fact, that first film did a decent job (trampoline scene aside) of not going out of its way to sexualize Megan Fox (one of Michael Bay’s new favorite pastimes). They made a kids movie. She was a pedestrian April O’Neil, but at least she didn’t get any slow-motion tank top time. This new movie however, appears to include some kind of assault on a Catholic school from an early-90s Britney Spears video. Even this franchise should be better than that.
And yet, it looks like fun. They’ve tossed in even more classic TMNT iconography for the sequel: Arrow star Stephen Amell is beating down thugs with a hockey stick (and rollerblading!); it has Beebop and Rocksteady, which is fun despite the fact that they were rendered on a Playstation 2; and that manhole cover shooting Ninja Turtle garbage truck is a toy that I wish late-80s me had. It’s like the early 90s exploded all over this movie with orgasmic, consumeristic glee.
We have to accept that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows could be fun. It looks stupid. Who knows.
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