We had triple-digit temperatures over the weekend here in Germany, the most advanced country in world that hasn’t heard of central air conditioning. Without it, there was no relief except from a rickety plastic fan whose speeds are “light whisper” and “falls apart,” so we suffered through Independence Day with a living room converted into a sauna. It was so hot that most of my brain power went to thinking cool thoughts, and it dawned on me that movies — like warm soup on a brisk winter day — could put me in a chilly mindset quickly and effectively.
If you’re experiencing the same sweaty summer, here are some movies that should inject some ice into your life.
Snowpiercer (2013)
Snow. It’s right there in the title. Most of Bong Joon-ho’s glorious dystopian action flick takes place inside a train circling the frozen globe, but everyone’s wearing heavy fur coats so you know it’s nice and cold. So cold, in fact, that it’ll freeze an arm to its shattering point within a few short minutes.
Plus, the movie offers some helpful recipes, so if you’re in the mood for innovative cuisine, Snowpiercer can tell you what tastes best.
Frozen (2013)
“Do you want to build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be a snowman,” is the most existentially complicated song lyric of all time. If you say yes to it, does it mean you want to build a snowman? Or that you recognize the potential for it not to be a snowman, and thus, are agreeing to build something regardless of what that is? Does what you build even have to be made out of snow technically? Probably not. Let’s not even get started on the philosophical conundrum of a sentient snow-being.
Regardless, the power to shoot ice from my hands sounds really good right now.
Frozen (2010)
The trio in Adam Green’s ski lift abandonment story have to spend an entire night in freezing temperatures thanks to a resort employee who shuts off all the equipment before checking to see whether anyone was still on the mountain. Lucky.
It’s like Home Alone with more frostbite. It’s also nothing like the Disney movie that shares its name, so be careful what you download to your kids’ tablet when you want them to stop bugging you.
Out Cold (2001)
Speaking of ski resorts, this underloved comedy about a ragtag bunch of snowboarders trying to save the rec center features comedy icons like David Koechner, Thomas Lennon, a relatively unknown Zach Galifianakis and Jason London playing the same role Jeremy London had in Mallrats.
It also teaches some important lessons about not passing out drunk in the snow when there are bears around. Or do. You might like it.
Fargo (1996)
As a Texan, I assume North Dakota and Minnesota never get above 32 degrees. I also assumed everyone there rode reindeer to work, but the Coen Brothers disabused me of that notion by showing all sorts of vehicles that somehow run in arctic conditions.
There’s nothing quite like gazing at the white nothingness of the fence line treasure-burying scene to drop your core temperature. Watching Peter Stormare stuffing a body into a wood chipper has a similar effect.
Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter (2014)
Cold movies seem to feed into each other well, and this is one of the best examples. Kumiko becomes obsessed with a VHS copy of Fargo — the aforementioned treasure-burying scene in particular — and, deciding it’s a documentary, sets out to leave her emotionally chilly life in Japan for the literally chilly life of Minnesota. She wants the briefcase that Carl buries in Fargo (which irresponsibly opens with “THIS IS A TRUE STORY”), and she finds adventure along the way. Fortunately, she never runs into Peter Stormare.
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