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10 Most Quotable Horror Movie One-Liners

October is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “31 days of horror.” Don’t bother looking it up; it’s true. Most people take that to mean highlighting one horror movie a day, but here at FSR, we’ve taken that up a spooky notch or nine by celebrating each day with a top ten list. This article celebrating the most entertaining one-liners in horror films is part of our ongoing series 31 Days of Horror Lists.


Some may disagree, but there’s no one single thing that good horror movies are supposed to do. Sure, they should ideally scare, unsettle, disgust, and/or entertain with their genre-themed beats, but some can also make you cry, make you angry, or make you laugh. The film’s visuals play a major role in all of these, obviously, but sometimes it’s the dialogue that gets a point across — whether serious or humorous — in a short, sharp, and direct way.

Today’s list looks at (and listens to) the best one-liners in horror films. Some are meant to leave viewers smiling, while others drive home a film’s theme or a character’s concern. All of them, though, have become memorably iconic in the years since their respective film’s release, and those of us here in the Boo Crew quote them on the regular in our daily life. We’re not alone in that. Probably.

Now keep reading to see the one-liners that have stuck with us the most over the years, as collectively shared by Chris CoffelBrad Gullickson, Meg ShieldsAnna SwansonJacob Trussell, Valerie Ettenhofer, and myself.


10. “Sometimes, dead is better.”

Best Horror Movie One-Liners: Fred Gwynne in Pet Sematary

Don’t sit there and lie to me, yourself, or whoever is sitting nearby. You just read that one-liner in the strangely infectious northeastern accent of The Munsters patriarch, Fred Gwynne, as Jud Crandall in Mary Lambert’s adaptation of Stephen King’s masterwork, Pet Sematary. All you have to do to get that Crandall sound is drop those hard Rs, replace them with an “-uh”, and add a dash of musicality to your words. The next thing you know, you’ll be sending ominous messages to your next-door neighbors, warning them under no circumstances should they bury anything in the creepy old pet cemetery that no one would have been able to find if you hadn’t led them there in the first place. But I digress. If we typically think of “Here’s Johnny!” as the greatest one-liner from a King film, then “Sometimes dead is better” is inarguably the greatest one-liner King ever actually wrote himself. (Jacob)


9. “Wait a minute, who am I here?”

Best Horror Movie One-Liners: Terry O'quinn In The Stepfather

While many of the one-liners on this list aim to be funny to some degree, this chilling moment from 1987’s The Stepfather is as heartstopping as they come. It’s partially because we know it means poor Susan is about to suffer the consequences, but it’s also because Terry O’Quinn absolutely terrifies with his performance. His mask crumbles just briefly as his warped mind tries to regain balance after mistaking which false life he’s living, and it’s a glimpse into and behind his madness. He quickly recovers, and the killer’s face shows a relatable look of relief, at which point he has to take out poor Susan as she wasn’t supposed to see or hear any of that. Killers in horror rarely suffer moments of doubt or confusion, and this quick look makes him all the more human — which is ultimately all the more terrifying. (Rob)


8. “Oh no tears, please, it’s a waste of good suffering.”

Best Horror Movie One-Liners: Pinhead in Hellraiser

With a Clive Barker script, Hellraiser is packed to the pins with plenty of clever lines, but if we had to pick an absolute favorite cheer-worthy line, this is the one. This is one of the moments that helped turn Pinhead into an instant horror icon, not to mention a great example of the film’s sly sense of humor. And to top it all off, it’s also the truth. If there’s one thing Hellraiser delivers, it’s good suffering. Tears or no tears. (Anna)


7. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

Best Horror Movie One-Liners: Roddy Piper in They Live

I’ll be honest and admit that John Carpenter’s last theatrically profitable film — it’s true, all seven features that followed failed to earn a profit on release — didn’t entirely work for me on first viewing. In my defense, I was coming in off the high of his previous film, Prince of Darkness, so an action/sci-fi flick with a more surface-level commentary than usual from Carpenter didn’t quite satisfy. Rewatches showed me the error of my ways and also allowed me to appreciate the film’s blatant comedic bent as well. Roddy Piper is a part of most of the film’s laughs, from his first reaction to wearing the glasses (that allow him to see aliens in our midst) to the epic alley fight with Keith David, but it’s this line and delivery that gets me rolling. Even the pause before opening his mouth works brilliantly, and after the line is delivered with measured precision he starts capping alien ass with abandon. This is cinema, baby. (Rob)


6. “Garbage day!”

Best Horror Movie One-Liners: Ricky in Silent Night Deadly Night 2

Odds are you have never watched Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. But if you have spent any amount of time on the internet you’re likely very familiar with one scene. Unable to overcome the trauma of having a murderous brother, Ricky goes on a random killing spree targeting those he deems “naughty.” Marching down a suburban neighborhood, amused by the gun in his hand, Ricky comes across a poor fellow just trying to take out the trash. Ricky stares him down with his wide, manic eyes, shouts “garbage day,” and proceeds to shoot him through the tin can. Then, coolly and calmly, he twirls the pistol around his fingers before blowing on the barrel. “Garbage day” rightfully gets all the shine, but don’t sleep on the way Ricky mutters “motherfucker” to himself under his breath just moments prior after blasting some other dude. (Chris)


This list of the most quotable horror movie one-liners ever concludes on the next page…

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Saturday, 1 October 2022

10 Underrated Horror Movies from the 2010s That Rule, Actually

October is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “31 days of horror.” Don’t bother looking it up; it’s true. Most people take that to mean highlighting one horror movie a day, but here at FSR, we’ve taken that up a spooky notch or nine by celebrating each day with a top ten list. This article about underrated 2010s horror movies that are actually super good is part of our ongoing series 31 Days of Horror Lists.


I’ll be the first to admit that I have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to modern horror. My heart wants what it wants… and usually, it wants the finest goopy, practical foam latex the 1980s could muster. So, as a horror fan, I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to the 2000s, arguably the last true decade where horror movies were widely reviled and dismissed as a genre for degenerate perverts. While my own hang-ups with noughties horror don’t have anything to do with being on a moral high horse, I am still complicit in undervaluing what the decade has to offer. The popular knee-jerk reaction by some to shit on 2000s horror quickly falls apart when you take stock of its boons: Them (2006); Martyrs (2008); Session 9 (2001); The Mist (2007); The Last Winter (2006) — the list goes on and on.

I bring up the bias against the genre in the 2000s because it’s crucial in understanding how we wound up with the concept of “elevated horror” in the 2010s. When you see articles like “The 2010s Were The Decade When Horror Got Smart,” a line in the sand is being drawn between when genre films are worthy of critical praise… and when they aren’t. So as much as journalists might tell you that the 2010s marked a turning point in horror’s longstanding dismissal, if we look closely, the bias against the genre is still very much alive and well.

Case and point: the following list. There are plenty of incredible horror films from the 2010s that deserved a lot better than the critical pummelling they took from critics at the time. And the ten films listed below represent the cream of the unfairly-maligned crop. To prove our point, in compiling this list, we only considered films with aggregated critical scores of less than 60% on Rotten Tomatoes. So from one bias-haver to another, keep an open mind and enjoy the following list of underrated 2010s horror films as assembled by Rob HunterAnna SwansonChris Coffel, Brad Gullickson, Jacob Trussell, Valerie Ettenhofer, and yours truly.


10. The Neon Demon (2018) – 58% RT

The Neon Demon Bath
Broad Green Pictures

A gorgeous, glowing nightmare that thrums with palpable dark energy, The Neon Demon is a bold movie that clearly lost points with critics somewhere along the way. Was it the implication that Los Angeles isn’t just a soul-sucking place but a sexy snake pit filled with people who will literally eat each other in the name of aesthetic dominance? Was it the necrophilia scene? It couldn’t have been Keanu Reeves playing against type as a creepy motel owner who tries to make Elle Fanning’s teen model swallow a knife, right?

Okay, on paper, maybe it makes sense that people jumped ship on this one. But Nicolas Winding Refn’s sleazy, beautiful, wildly assured dip into the modeling underworld is still one of the most memorable entries in the style-over-substance canon. It’s also elevated by a stunning performance from Fanning, who adds depth to the role of a small-town girl whose talent for smizing lands her in a neon-drenched West Coast fever dream. (Valerie Ettenhofer)


9. The First Purge (2018) – 55% RT

The First Purge

The 2010s weren’t a major decade for emerging franchises. But one that undeniably made waves was The Purge. Unabashedly politically charged, the films have created a topical image of a dystopia where all crime is legal for one night. For the fourth franchise entry, it made complete sense to make a prequel that explains exactly how this all started. Set in Staten Island, The First Purge chronicles one night for the citizens who have become political guinea pigs to study the effect of a trial purge. With some rather clever film techniques used to depict surveillance and an engrossing cast of characters, the film is a lively franchise entry that further deepens the world of the series. It might not be the very best in the series, but it’s absolutely worth your time. (Anna Swanson)


8. Escape Room (2019) – 50% RT

Escape Room

Did you know that they made a Saw movie for kids? And that it’s pretty darn fun? A charming horror-thriller that will swiftly introduce the uninitiated and the young to close-quarters ensemble nightmares, Escape Room is the Disney Channel answer to torture porn. And it turns out that that’s a good thing!

Directed by Adam Robitel (of The Taking of Deborah Logan fame), Escape Room sees a group of six strangers dropped into a high-rise from hell full of deadly puzzles based on their past traumas. While Escape Room definitely follows in the footsteps of the likes of Chosen Survivors and Exam, it brings a modern sense of scale (and production value) to the table that is a delight to behold (the upside-down dive bar set is especially fun). While many critics dismissed the film for being “silly” and “contrived,” it’s worth remembering that Escape Room comes from a long line of knowingly ridiculous B-Movies that are less concerned with being airtight puzzle boxes than goofy-ass rollercoasters. Escape Room is an underrated brain-off hoot of 2010s horror… and sometimes that’s just what the doctor ordered. (Meg Shields)


7. Brightburn (2019) – 57% RT

Brightburn

Not only was David Yarovesky’s Brightburn a good movie when it hit screens in 2019, but we’re also pretty sure that this anti-hero origin story is going to age like a fine wine. In a cinematic landscape dominated by crowd-pleasing superhero movies, this James Gunn-produced sci-fi/horror flick is a breath of fresh air. Brightburn is basically the answer to the question of what you’d get if We Need To Talk About Kevin and Clark Kent’s origin story got in a head-on collision.

The Breyers have been struggling with fertility. And one night, a crashed spaceship answers their prayers. Twelve years later, the couple begins to suspect that Brandon, their miracle child, may not have their (or humanity’s) best interests at heart. Gory, gleefully morally ambiguous, and unapologetic about its B-Movie sensibilities, Brightburn is a gem that you should absolutely check out if you dismissed it upon its initial release. (Meg Shields)


6. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) – 45% RT

Meters Down Uncaged

This list could easily be four times as long. But keeping it to a top ten has resulted in a solid mix of movies that are often far better than their reputation might suggest. This sequel to a pretty okay killer shark flick is fairly standard for much of its run. But it manages some thrills along the way with its tale of sisters trapped underwater with a hungry shark. What puts it apart from the pack, though, is director Johannes Roberts’ decision to jazz up the set-pieces with a slasher mentality and copious use of “Donato reds.” The result is a killer shark thriller that shifts away from the expected setups to deliver sequences and scares more akin to stalk and slash films. It’s an entertaining and visually thrilling descent into animal horror. And it’s absolutely worth a watch before your next trip to the beach. (Rob Hunter)


This list of underrated 2010s horror movies concludes on the next page…

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Jason Eisener Reveals How Stuart Gordon Inspired ‘Kids vs. Aliens’

This article is part of our coverage of the 2022 edition of Fantastic Fest, taking place from September 22-29. In this entry, we’re chatting with director Jason Eisener about his latest throwback horror adventure, Kids vs. Aliens. Follow along with our reviews, interviews, and features from the fest in our Fantastic Fest archive.


There’s a particular rush Jason Eisener is chasing with Kids vs. Aliens. It’s an energy caught somewhere between a haunted house and an amusement park ride. He’s not looking to bottle the jumps and jolts you experience when you turn a corner in a corn maze as a chainsaw-wielding maniac lets his machine rip mere inches from your face. He wants to capture your body’s flight that comes after. The director craves the speed of “Let’s get the F outta here!”

Kids vs. Aliens follows a wild pack of children who spend their free time making cheapo monster movies in their backyard. They’re trying to pull the weirdo stories out of their head and put them before a camera. It’s less about whether or not they find a screen and more about documenting their imagination, proving to themselves that they’re far more interesting than the bored teenagers who mock them.

Gary (Dominic Mariche) knows his movies are dope. He only wishes his big sister Samantha (Phoebe Rex) would recognize their radness in front of Billy (Calem MacDonald), the cute, scumbag boy she’s crushing on. The adolescent rituals are upon them (Parties! Drinking! Sex!), threatening to ruin Gary’s filmmaker origin story. When he turns his camera toward the bullies, exposing their banal atrocities, Gary hopes to dampen Samantha’s desire to belong. It’s a good trick, and then the aliens crash the party.

Those who’ve seen a Jason Eisener flick can imagine what these poor kids are in for. Hobo with a Shotgun delights in a grotesqueness stained with an eighties grain, and Kids vs. Aliens isn’t looking to upset the aesthetic. Instead, Eisener jabs a heavy adrenaline dose into the experience, supercharging the film’s brisk seventy-five-minute runtime.

Kids vs. Aliens‘ first draft appeared as the short film Slumber Party Alien Abduction in the horror anthology V/H/S/2. With an even smaller timeframe to operate within, Eisener wanted to accomplish a ride, one inspired by an actual motion-simulation attraction crafted by one of his favorite horror movie directors.

Stuart Gordon made this Aliens ride,” says Eisener, “which is one of those things where you sit in a chair, and it’s a film, but it makes you feel like you’re going through it. I wanted to create a similar experience, even though it’s not a footage movie, but I wanted it to have that haunted house ride feel. I wanted to see these kids go through an experience that has people getting melted and seeing aliens getting cut up. All that stuff. I like seeing their perspective through a horror scenario.”

Stuart Gordon’s Aliens: Ride at the Speed of Fright was an interactive movie simulator that briefly ran in San Francisco and London from 1994 to 1995. Starring Gordon’s frequent collaborator Jeffrey Combs, the ride barely lasted twenty minutes but left a tremendous impression on those strapped in. Once the guest planted themself in their chair, they were off, and they didn’t stop until they unbuckled. Jason Eisener wanted that for his short, and he wanted that for Kids vs. Aliens. The only difference between the movie and the simulator? Not every kid survives the endeavor.

“I try not to hold back on the kids,” says Eisener. “If they were adults, I would want to treat them the same because I see them just as strong and as inspirational as any adult could be. I don’t know. I like the idea of seeing kids go through more of an adult experience.”

Without tripping into spoiler territory, Kids vs. Aliens makes space in its climax for a sequel. While you could probably imagine a follow-up to Hobo with a Shotgun, Kids vs. Aliens is the first Eisener film where you’d be seriously disappointed if we didn’t get a second bite. You’ll want to see the frame that comes after the fade-to-black.

“It’s a horror movie,” he continues. “I wanted to leave people with the same kind of feeling that it was like when I did the short film, but I have these dreams of making another one. If people like it and they tell Shudder and RLJE Films that they want to see another one, we are ready to get back there and start shooting the next one right away. We already got it mapped out. There’s a lot of breadcrumbs left in the movie that leads into the next one.”

One doesn’t consider Eisener a sequel guy, so it’s surprising to hear him speak this way. Yet, he’s never been one to let a good idea peter out in another format. Kids vs. Aliens not only began its life as a V/H/S/2 segment but as an extension of a previous project, a project with deep ties to his youth.

“For me,” says Eisener, “it was a way to exorcise a lot of the things that I’ve been really inspired by. A couple of years ago, I was pitching on the Masters of the Universe movie, and I did a huge deep dive because that was the first thing I was into as a kid. I re-emerged myself into that, and I didn’t get the gig or whatever, but it stuck with me, and I realized I wanted to make something of my own that’s like that, or that could expand outward like Masters of the Universe and SheRa. Kids vs. Aliens has its own little universe too.”

A franchise is only as good as its toys. So, as Jason Eisener constructed Kids vs. Aliens, he did so with the fantasy that Kenner, Mattel, Playmates, or somebody could build a whole action figure line around it. Gary and Samantha should ascend to their true plastic form, complete with kung fu grips and dropkick action!

“There’s literally a playset in Kids vs. Aliens,” says Eisener. “I call it the Slime Throne. And, you know, every toy back in the day would have a little slime thing. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had a toilet thing where you put slime on them. Masters of the Universe had the slime pit with that skull.”

Kids vs. Aliens is an aspirational adventure. It’s the movie every child imagines their life could become at any moment. Gary and his buds have the most epic treehouse/barn arena. They have the gnarliest gadgets, and the films they’re making in their backyard would give adult Steven Spielberg a run for his money.

Eisener’s fulfilling kid fantasies all around. His audience’s kiddie fantasies. The fantasies of his child actors. Most importantly, however, are his own. Finally, he can be the kid his kid-self always wanted to be.

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